👀 at my art:

Let me start off by saying that I regret the fact that I lost track of the last few weeks and as such, have been unable to add much to my Hotglue logbook. There was relatively little homework that was intended to be uploaded here, the draft of my essay is on MS Teams, and the visual research on my topic/theme that I've generated are too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing them in a publicly accessible space like this, and as such can also be found in my personal folder in the Identity 3-group in MS Teams.

Besides that, I've come to the realisation that I'm struggling a bit moving forward, and I hope that next week's Midterm presentations and feedback may help me with this. The individual archive I have to build, I intend to fill with sources and material to use for my theory essay, but I struggle with visualising my embodied knowledge and finding additional sources to use and reference.

Besides this, I'm mildly concerned with my seemingly lack of ability to connect the theory we've been taught in our classes with my personal experiences, the way I intend(ed) to do in my essay, since said essay is supposed to be a more mature exploration of habits I displayed re: media as a teenager, and in some cases these are habits I still have.

While I'm glad to be emotionally doing relatively okay, despite the concerning/escalating situation in the country, I feel like my other mental abilities are declining. By that I mean the ability to focus, drawing connections between topics, the ability to understand and discuss abstract concepts, et. I would argue that this is also why I've documented next to nothing on Hotglue for the last two weeks or so, as well. I could've easily put a similar rambling such as this one on those pages, but didn't get around to it, forgot about it, and to be honest the thought simply didn't occur to me before earlier today.

I feel uncomfortable with this, because the topics I have picked out and that my fellow team members have picked are all genuinely interesting to me, and it should be noted that this is in that regard not a problem within the curriculum. Nevertheless, this personal mental block, for lack of a better word, if not gone within a week or two, could very well bite me in the ass later on, and I'm not sure how to tackle it.

So I hope to find some inspiration, motivation, and a different look at things coming next week's Midterm meetings.

Some thoughts and musings